Many people know that if you want something to grow, you must invest something to assure that growth. If you are gardening, you must invest time to plant, water, fertilize and prune to help to grow healthy plants. If you don’t know how to care for the plants properly they will either wither and die or grow out of control into a jungle. The same true in relationships.
If you are in a relationship that you care a lot about, look at how you feel within that friendship, marriage or business relationship. If you are comfortable and happy then you have a healthy basis to continue to build upon.
If however, you feel disrespected, angry, helpless or taken for granted- think about why you feel this way. You may of had a history that kept getting you into other relationships where you felt this way over and over again. Either you need to make some personal adjustments or you need to look for someone that is outside your comfort zone. Maybe someone that brings something new to the table. Look for healthy positive attitudes-slow to anger, can see many sides of an issue and offers several possible solutions to choose from.
I came from a family with an abusive father and a quiet mother, so I learned to put up with verbal, emotional and some forms of physical abuse. We were not to speak of “family matters” with outsiders, including our grandparents. Dad was in charge of almost all decisions within the family. We didn’t have many friends over because we were embarrassed by many aspects of our lives. We were not comfortable with being social outside the family and then we became shunned by others our age.
From this back ground, I didn’t learn to value myself until well into adult life. I accepted the first person that came along to get me out of a bad situation while I was still living with my family.